This Day, Last Year…


Today is that blessed day. (Written on August 29th)

This day,  last year,  a very unassuming me in the eighth month of my pregnancy was all prepared to make the most of the last month of my pregnancy and eventually be ready to have my baby naturally. It was around six in the evening that the painless bleeding started and I couldn’t muster up any reasons for the same.

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It was a time no one was indoors at the hostel,  most of them were out for tea,  shopping etc. And only one of them was in, having just come in after her occasional part time job. I was reluctant to call her considering how tired she must be. But she agreed to accompany me to the hospital anyway. We made a run for it. I was only prepared for a minor check up and rest,  and be released soon,  just like I had gone through in the 30th week. This was barely 5 weeks later.

One hospital refused to take me in since I was far along and had never consulted a doctor there. I was referred to another nearby hospital that was equipped well for ob-gyn cases.
I informed my husband and my mother and told them I would call if I am going to be kept there for observation.

Thanks to Carmel for all the running she did for the official matters concerning my admission to the hospital. If it weren’t for you,  I would have been totally emotional and angry at everything I thought to be unfair. Illogical as well.

By half past nine, my hubby got there at the hospital. I was put in the Labour room, where there were many other beds, and no other women with labour pain. I was checked. The fetal heart rate was checked often. It was all fine. I was taken in for an ultrasound scan. Which revealed abruption of placenta (the oxygen and nutrients were being cut off to the baby and as time passed by,  it would become fatal to the baby.). Such a fine line of bleeding  behind the placenta.

A young ob-gyn approached me. She was very pretty,  slim and adept. She talked fast and professionally. I was not convinced that I had to undergo a cesarean section to save my baby. Not after all that natural birth and homoeopathic remedies I had planned. My husband was outside in the lobby and he whatsapp-ed me that the doctor was advising a c-section. He seemed as incredulous as me, not to mention the overwhelming feeling just before believing that you were finally going to meet that little person you have been waiting for 9 –  er…  8 months.

I was ravenous. The last thing I had was lunch. And once the c-section was decided upon, they told me not to drink any water. And certainly no food. I have never been hungrier in my life,  if I have to recall that night. And hubby was there with a take-out chicken fried rice from a nearby restaurant that we used to go for an occasional dinner. Ah,  I sacrificed that too.

I had a premature delivery at week 35 via an emergency c-section. It all whizzed past me, the stark white and achingly bright OT, the much dreaded spinal anaesthesia (I hate it, period) and the machines and tubes and doctors conversing and then that tiny squeaky cry… My consciousness was fuzzy when they showed me my little girl. Born at 11.29 pm, on 29th of August. The numbers like I was born at  5.22 am on 22nd of August. Somehow in the daze, I was thinking about that.

I remember being numb and fuzzy and the excruciating pain of the pelvic stitches and all throes after the event, the pain of staggering through the Labour ward to the NICU where my baby girl was lodged for 4 days. Yeah,  she was not with me. It remains a memory of disbelief And not to mention the spinal headache –  side-effect of spinal anaesthesia. Top it all with disappointment of having had a c-section.

But none of these matter when I look at the bundle of chubbiness taking up a big portion of my day and of course I have got over all those shocks and surprises, all natural dreams and all. I would,  anyone would,  when you realize what you almost lost.

I know this is a very long  post. I have wanted to write about that day for long, when I am ready. And I finally have. But it is all there is. There is a lot that I would normally describe but skipped. I thought of leaving a cliffhanger somewhere and continue in the next post,  but I have continued well into the next day, so it is as good as split.

Well, it was her first birthday and mine, too. A new mother was born.  A new me.

I am yawning like a hippo. That says I should sleep. 🙂 I will update posts on missed details some time soon.
Goodnight..

Love, Sana

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About Sana Rose

A medico in love with the pen since 13. Author of 'The Torrent from My Soul: Poems of A Born Dreamer'. Have more collections awaiting publication. Still gliding my pen to discover new horizons in poetry. Writing fiction, too, with a passion in Family and Relationships genre. Has a thing or two for matters of the human mind and heart. When not envisaging a story, photography seems interesting. Based in Calicut, Kerala - India.
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