To Trust or Not To Trust… That’s the Question, Isn’t it?


Just the other day, I was talking to my friend, who happens to be Elias again, and at some point in the funny, comfortable conversation, I told him, “I remember you had thick lashes on your eyes, do they still?” He was my classmate in 4th Grade and it wasn’t an age that really made favourable friendships between boys and girls. Years later, I met him online and though we hadn’t forgotten each other, we were different. (No one is as he was in 4th grade, a considerable years later, and in our case, twelve or thirteen.) I still remembered somehow that he loved reading. I have no idea where I ever got that information from but at times it’s weird to realize what all we remember.
Anyway, I could use it, couldn’t I? After all, I am an author with my debut book out and all.***Β  So, when I asked him about his eyes, he was like, :/ when he agreed to it.*** I couldn’t hold back a chuckle. I liked the expression and I told him as much. And he said, desperate to even out the embarrassment ***, “I still remember that you were an irritating nerd.”
That made me laugh even more because what else did one expect otherwise, just thinking of the sheer innocence of it? πŸ˜€
It just wouldn’t register as a personal comment, because I bet that is the only thing he or any other guy would remember about the girls in their class back then, when they are nine or ten, unless they had an early crush on someone. True, that one, he confessed. πŸ™‚ ***
And I said, “Trust me, I’m a writer!”
And he was like, “Why would I trust a writer, when I don’t even trust my doctor or lawyer?”
That was the turning point of my thoughts and I further asked him, “Who do you trust?” knowing the answer. And I stop the exact report of our conversation here because I don’t want to make this blog his story *** πŸ˜‰ and because our conversation really did end with a few more texts. Though we planned to talk about it, we couldn’t as it was getting late for me. So we’ll do it another day.

Trust is like petroleum in today’s world. It takes a long time to make and evaporates in a short time. It’s exhausting due to exploitation. And we can’t really blame someone when he or she says, “I don’t trust so and so,” or even “I don’t trust you.” As much as it hurts, we might as well remember that there might be a deeper hurt in them. Or it is necessarily not about being hurt but just being not able to trust anyone or anything completely, or being unable to think of a name when they are asked, “Who do you trust?” rather than “Who do you trust most?”. Yeah, when comparison is omitted, we don’t have a lot of answers, do we? But then, maybe it’s something we can work on and build up, though it may take time. Building up trust without a negotiating contract or lease. IfΒ  it was about a lease, it would never be Trust with all its crudeness and uncertain thrill and commitment that didn’t take a signature.

Last night, I asked the same to myself. “Sana, who do you trust?”
But, fortunately or unfortunately, I had many names that I couldn’t point to one. The result is the same. I couldn’t point one name. He couldn’t point one name. Because I have too many people I trust in my life including him***. AndΒ  for him, he didn’t know. That’s how different two people are, no matter how same their positions are in the end.
I trust people so easily, I don’t know why, after all those times I had been hurt by betrayal and broken promises. But it’s just a part of my system to trust people. There might be people who value it and respect it. There might be those who exploit it, and hurt me in the end. But either way, when I meet someone, I prepare to trust them. Either you get to be close to them, or you will lose them. May be after all those times of hurt, my defensive mechanism was not to avoid trusting someone, but rather being ready to face the pains that might come with trusting someone.

So, what do you think? Which is simpler and better?
Just forgetting the word Trust, the feeling of trusting another person? Or just being all set and ready to face the stabs that might come with the package of trust and relationships?
I chose the latter, because it had a strengthening effect on my heart. And I believe life would be bland, insecure and confused when you are just not ready to trust another person other than yourself.

So that was just an extension of my thoughts after the conversation.
A note to Elias: Please add “Forgive me for saying that” at every point I added three stars like ***. πŸ™‚ I know you won’t mind. (I hope!)

——-*—–*—–*———

Well, now to what’s happening at my end. πŸ™‚
Just the headlines.

*Done with Exams for now. πŸ™‚

*Warming up to get back to writing the novel. Entertaining readers on my fan page. πŸ˜€

*Poetry is still going on.

*Joined a team of writers and thinkers on the Editorial board of a site, Kahihi: A Viewspaper. Not A Newspaper.

*Hitching up for more projects like promoting that site, and maintaining its Facebook fan page and stuff like that. I am glad that I am doing some serious grown up works now. *Grins*

*Wondering what happened to the footer widget area in my blog. :/ I can’t find it today. And logging in is a convoluted process. Anyone who finds it, please report. (Just see if you can see it from your computer. There were 4 columns, with two black like boxes to my pages and some writings in the bottom of my blog. That’s the footer area, for those who don’t know.)

So now, it’s your turn. πŸ™‚

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Of A Week in My Writing Room and My Views on the ‘Room’ Without A View…


The last post was like, I’ll be back in a week, with half a dozen chapters of my novel written (owing to the solitary confinement and zero networking). And it’s been a long break, but I have been back on FB early but just didn’t turn the corner to blog.

To explain my absence (if you give a damn, that is, LOL), let me tell you what I did. πŸ™‚ I took a silent break after the last post. I wasn’t updating the networks, nor writing any poetry. And I reduced talking to friends and texting and chatting. It was more like I talked only about my writing and talked with the specific readers who are giving me feedback, wrote to them. For two days I didn’t have internet connection itself. I made a kind of Room in my head. Where it was just Me and Words and occasionally some talk about my writing. Just like Jack and Ma in Room (Talking about that later in this post, scroll down.)
What I was trying to do was gather all my distracted and distorted thoughts from all those space out there that stole my attention and bring it to a focus. To the file titled ‘Manuscript‘ in the folder ‘Amidst Sandcastles‘. It had been stuck at Chapter 22 and the gaping gap was disturbing, even a bit fatally painful. I began writing this novel in June 2010 and it’s well past one and a half years since that and I am not done with it. So I had to do something.

Like setting the last date of June 2012. If I finish it by then, good. Otherwise, I might never finish it, because new ‘titles’ are emerging in my head every week and this started feeling a little bit stale. Finishing it before I got bored of the whole plot – it’s been in my head for too long – is the point.
However, things worked out according to my plan. Well, half of the things worked out. πŸ˜€ On the third evening, I took out the notepad in which I had written a paragraph about Hope. I copied it to a new word file and added another paragraph and mailed it to twoΒ  close friends. Heslin said she was waiting to read that new book that was emerging now. Elias as usual criticised about the detachment between the two paragraphs (natural since I wrote it at two different times) but he also added that he would kill me if I didn’t use this part I wrote in some book in future. Such a threatening encouragement that I had no choice but to start dreaming about that book and recently I began that one… πŸ˜€ Thanks Elias. But for that, I have to get the first one done and there, the writers’ block fell down smoothly….
That evening, I completed chapter 22, jumped to 23, wrote it the next day (of course, broke my back in the chair late into the night) and a day later, I did 24, which was such a joy to write. And the passion was back, the fire burning… And then passed on the chapters to my friend, who’s keeping up with my novel as I write it. And I was half way through 25 and the block returned…….. 😦

But that was last week, because of hearing about the impending exams on 23rd. I completed that chapter yesterday, after a 2-days’ break. And it feels good. But now I have to take a break for the Abominable Exams (AE). It is definitely not in my plans to score well, maybe just pass, but observing my own progress with the textbooks this week, I have put off the idea of passing the papers to the next semester.
Ask me why, I will tell you.
Materia Medica – 86 drugs (Have never read half of it.)
Gynaecology – 15 chapters
Obstetrics – 15 chapters
Surgery – I have a list of all those ridiculously extravagant topics that sound serious but I don’t know how many chapters they make.
The fourth subject isn’t a problem, ’cause I have time to check it out later.

And there are just 15 more chapters to go in my novel. So which one is easy? πŸ˜‰ Of course, writing is. I am not saying it is easy work, but it’s enjoyable hard work. But anyway, I am pausing it for now. Until may be the theory papers are done.

Then what else happened that week? Read ‘Firefly Lane’ by Kristin Hannah. Another of her heartwrenching, bittersweet stories. πŸ™‚ I started missing my best friends from school like hell. (Yes, you two, Haya and Heslin.)

This week, I read another book. A powerful one. Room by Emma Donoghue. And I am speechless because I have a number of things to say about it and it would still be not enough. Let me just say one thing: if you haven’t read it yet, read it soon. It was nominated for the Man Booker Prize and has received other awards and it was worth every award it got. I see a lot of negative reviews and kind of low rating for the book among some readers, but what I have to say to them is what I just commented on a negative review of Room in a blog I just read. Here it goes:

“Well, I guess you need to be a deeper reader to appreciate Room. πŸ™‚ It might be uneasy to read about Jack ‘having some’ and such things, but the unease was intended by the author, no doubt. But Jack isn’t a brat, not a very perfect kid but he was lovable because he was just that- a human kid with tantrums, curiosity and cute ideas and all that. The exposure to the Outside he lacks can be very much understood from his thoughts. But there are some things that really only the innocence of a kid can see through. When we listen to what Jack has to say when he experiences the Outer world, a good reader can realize how complicated we humans make life. And his innocent, naive observations convey the truth about it which the too busy human race miss out in the process of growing up and living. And I don’t know if every mother and child would have done something like Ma did with Jack in similar situations. Because you forget that everyone are different. Some may not have welcomed the very idea of having her captor’s child like Ma did. Some would have just ended their life with something. Emma Donoghue creates two individual characters here with all their specialties and differences of having had a life in ‘Room’.

Lastly, you’re not intended to feel sorry for them, like Ma herself says to TV show anchor. πŸ™‚ You are intended to just take the journey with Jack and you will know it wasn’t that irksome. πŸ™‚
Look a little Inside of the Outside. :)”

I just love the thoughts Jack has when he sees the world for the first time after being born, at five. Here are some Excerpts and Jack’s thoughts.

Driving home I see the playground but it’s all wrong, the swings are on the opposite side.

β€œOh, Jack, that’s a different one,” says Grandma. There’s playgrounds in every town.”

Lots of the world seems to be a repeat.

Another one:Β maybe I’m a human but I’m a me-and-Ma as well.

And: β€œRight. What’s new?”

β€œEverything,” I say.

That makes her laugh, I don’t know why. β€œHave you been having fun?”

β€œThe sun burned my skin off and a bee stinged me.”

So, back to me. πŸ™‚ This week, I had been downloading and hunting for ebooks. Two days ago, I happened to come across a best-selling author’s books. Emily Griffin is the author of the books Something Borrowed (which was adapted to a movie with the same title), Something Blue, Baby Proof, etc. (I didn’t know Something Borrowed was a book. All these are in to-read list for now.) So, I was checking out her website which is very interesting, too. And in the advice to the new writers out there, she said, “First, stop referring to yourself as an ‘aspiring writer’. You might aspire to get paid for what you do, but you are a writer if you write…” The first thing I did after reading that was removing the word “Aspiring” from all my author bios on the Internet that I remembered. From my website, blog, Goodreads Author page and Fan Page. πŸ˜€ (Kindly notify me if you see that anywhere else.) I have never felt so damn confident by another author’s advice! So here I am: as a writer to take the full swing. πŸ™‚ Not an aspiring one. But a dreaming, working one.

Let me wind up with a thought I had some time in the past week of self-isolation.

“You are not You, at least, not until you know what you want.”

Does that make any sense to you? Well, like I told Elias today, not everything has to make sense always. πŸ™‚

Just enjoy the joy of nonsense once in a while. πŸ™‚ You will cherish the memory at some point of time when you are all old and grey and a non-walkie-only-talkie.

Day before yesterday, I found out a new obsession I have – making book titles. πŸ˜€ I have twelve titles ready to be books now, in a folder. Crazy but interesting fact is- the twelve titles are of one month each. πŸ˜€ From January to December. A title for each month. Sounds funny, kind of series-like. But it’s not, I think. Anyway, it’s good to have titles for our dreams. And that’s an advantage writers have (over the ordinary). πŸ˜€ Being able to title their dreams.

The next on my huge to-read book shelf is The Glass Castle. It’s a memoir by an American Columnist Jeanette Walls. Thought I will give it a go. Like I said on New Year’s Eve, I am reading more books this year. πŸ™‚ And I am keeping up to it. I have already read two books before the AE came (Dunno what AE is? Attention test failed. Scroll all the way up again).

So, bye-bye for today and some more days. This was a long post but I have been away for too long. Sorry for dragging, but I had to do this if I am to settle down with my textbooks at last, with just two days ahead.

Love Always, Sana

P.S. I have plans for some fun with you. How do you like some talk? I welcome you to post any question in the Guest Book here, or in my website. Anything you want to know (well, except may be my phone number). πŸ˜‰ Wondering why? Well, I have a good reason. We’ll discuss that there. So goodnight… πŸ™‚

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To Gather The Petals and Bloom Again…


Well, it’s just a few minutes back I thought of this. I’m taking a break. It’s too early still to be taking a break. But it’s a much needed one. Let’s get to the point – I just have to organize myself and my projects before I dive in again.

Today is the best day to start the break. The Net package expires today anyway, so I’ll just put off recharging it. Meanwhile, stay put, I won’t be away for too long. It’s me, so I am hoping that I will make it to the end of the break without babbling things at you people. I don’t know how long or short it will be. But, I’m going to make it meaningful.

(Huh?! I know…)

While I am away, don’t forget that my poetry, my blog and other stuff will still be on the net.

*Those who haven’t already, visit me.

*Those who have, and those who like what they see, share my writing and my FB page. And follow me here. Give me feedback and comments and write to me. I’ll get back.

*Those who think this blog is worth a read or a visit, follow it through email. You can read the posts in the emails itself, if you don’t want to navigate to this page to read it. I am not a frequent blogger and my blog posts don’t get many comments. (I am new here). πŸ˜€ So don’t hesitate to subscribe, your inbox won’t be spammed or crammed, I swear. πŸ˜‰

*Those who are already picking the petals right from the beginning, I will be back soon. πŸ™‚ With something better and fresh.

So, adieu, till we meet again…

Love Always, Sana

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Let’s Drop New Year Irresolutions For Now! Better Yet…


… I haven’t decided what’s better yet. But still we could just talk about something other than New Year and resolutions and irresolution…. Everyone seems to be heavily thinking about what to do, what not to do, what to do never, and what they’d plan and never do. And the blog posts are so intent on talking about the same. So many blogs have got new readers just because of their realistic views about resolutions which will naturally be humorous. And the added humor sense of the writer and the reader makes it all a brand new funny new year! So why not just slowly drop it now? The new year is already 4 days old. πŸ™‚

So, I wasn’t planning a blog post today, but I just want to share a link. My first author interview is published on a blog. πŸ™‚ Just take a look at it and tell me what you think.

I know a lot of it is downright silly – but the whole thing is just me. Silly or not, I am an author! πŸ˜€ And one particular thing that might nauseate you is mentioning Cecelia Ahern’s P.S. I Love You. To me, reading it was like an emotional treadmill. I have to confess that I couldn’t read two chapters at a go and it took me two weeks to read that book! (My book reading rate is three books a week when I wasn’t this much a writer). I would get emo in between and have to get over it before continuing it. And I had to hide the tears from my roommates. (I live in a hostel). May be I’m an oversensitive fool. Or may be she is a good author. It’s not always that a book can make you smile and cry and both at the same time throughout the book.Β  And that too when it’s very sad. I loved the book, no crap. But what was more inspiring was that the author was only 21 at the time of publishing that book. That is younger than the now-me. That was when I came to believe that I could do it, too.

So you get the reason. All you have to do is ask me! πŸ™‚

Anyway, the interview is here:

Sana Rose: Author on Focus for The Torrent from My Soul.

And they have missed something. The thing being my book’s cover picture. πŸ™‚

Trust me, I know this is too drab a cover for a debut poetry book with such an elegant title and all. But God knows it’s different! Anyway, it’s one of the reasons I am looking out to republish this book, apart from the huge cost of the imported editions of books in India. So let’s see how it pays off. πŸ™‚

Meanwhile, it’s too late here and I have been very lazy to make it to the clinics in the past two days, I would better go now. Though I know 200% certainly that I am interested in sleeping in tomorrow morning, too. Sigh…

But let’s see. The mosquitoes are eating me up. And it’s past midnight. They might as well be some vampires. Yuck! I just thrashed out and crushed a mosquito on my arm. And gallons of blood… ugh! Bloody suckers – they are probably the most optimistic creatures I will ever meet.

Feasting on my B+ve blood and all, you know… 😐

Tailpiece:

My friend to me, last night during a chat: You’re so awesome in a weird way. Very weird.

Well, me: I’m so weird, in an awesome way.

πŸ˜‰ Couldn’t help but think like that! I don’t know why, but his next text was: “I’m speechless.” πŸ™‚

[ Note to my friend who might read this: Forgive me, but I find myself smiling at that. Talking to you is really awesome in a natural way. πŸ™‚ ]

Signing off with love,

Sana

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Old New Years… and Tips to those suffering from Irresolution-2012


“Sometimes, life is as meaningless as
My smiles and your tears
And our resolutions on New Years…
But the meaningfulness lies in
My tears for Your smiles
And the dreams that take us miles…”
β™₯ s.r. β™₯

Now that the first day of 2012 is past us (to me, the second day has also ended), let’s sit down by the fire and enjoy some quiet moments of contemplation. And I have just realized that my resolutions are already different things and not just the ones I shared in my previous post and it’s only the second day of the new year. And better yet, I’m not going to announce those resolutions here (or say, plans – plan is a safer word because we don’t have to keep plans, we only have to make plans and let them go wrong.)

I have decided to go back to childhood days and what new year was at that time. Things have changed a lot since. And now, January is just the next month after December and it happens to have a new registration number, is all. And since there isn’t an April-May summer vacation to look forward to here in the medical college, unlike school days, life is a synonym for ‘monotonous’ and the early part of the year is insignificant. But when I was a kid, there were many things that mattered when New Year was coming. Like exchange of gifts and new year cards.

My dad has been jobless for as long as I can remember. And our huge house was sold when I was twelve. After a series of rental houses during the next three years, we at last settled in a house where we lived for the next five years. Of course, I got the best schooling, good food and nice clothes and I grew up seeing my mother grow more tired everyday. She was a teacher in a lower primary school. And she ran the family with her earnings and gave us all that she could. The things we missed out on went unacknowledged. Like family hours, talking and daily school updates and sharing of things that mattered. And I constantly fell in love (wasn’t love, I now realize), broke my heart four times in a row, since I was fifteen upto twenty. True, financial crisis can ruin a family, take the fun out of it. But not necessarily. It’s just as easy to avoid. And give your kids what they want, besides what they need. Like time, you know.

I remember how I felt when many of my friends sent me New Year greeting cards and I couldn’t send them any in return. Sometimes, dad bought us cards but it could end up in a fight if the number was odd since I have younger siblings. And I remember how my dad brought a huge card for one Eid and said to my angry little sis that it was for his friend and later gave it to me when she was asleep.

‘It’s for your best friend,’ he said. My then-best friend had sent me a beautiful card that week and I wanted to send back something equally good. That was when I was nine.

A few years from then on, things were real difficult for a girl who was in the stage of making more friends and being social and all that. And there were no more cards. And the compulsory new year gift exchange to a friend chosen by lucky-lots were mostly pens or small diaries. I felt the diary or pen that I was to gift was lame when my friends bought flower vases and timepieces and artificial flowers and showcase items like crystal stuff. But I pretended it was something different, rather than poor. Then I began finding that it was actually brilliant. There wasn’t a better gift than a new diary on New Year, I began believing, because that’s what I would have liked as the writer in me grew, but what I never got from others. (But since it’s so common that other people get the gifts we wish we got, I think it was okay, since they were probably thinking the flower vase I got was a good idea, when I thought how stupid it was, especially since we didn’t have a showcase really [that was uncool] and since it would have to be packed and unpacked as we kept moving from house to house, year after year.)
Soon, I had become more grown up and learnt how to keep my wishes low and demand nothing. And cards were one of those things. Other things included their time and listening. I stopped asking for cards. Instead, I began making cards on my own with papers from my art book and my colour pens and pencils. And somewhere I read that hand-made cards were more connected to feelings than bought ones. And it just made me happier to send self-made cards to friends. And since they thought my drawing was awesome, I repeated it every year until I finished school! (And since it isn’t as awesome as my writing now, I simply stopped it.)

And I was wondering, how the cards came lesser and some other things became more important. I am a rather quiet person in person. Not in writing. But you would probably be really disappointed if we met face to face. I just wouldn’t know what to say, no matter how close we are. And my social circle grew smaller. Just two or three close friends and strictly no boys because I was self conscious and nervous if any boy talked to me (I don’t know why I was like that, but I was like that). I spent more time with books and I had already begun writing and no more copied words from old greeting cards.

I had begun writing… πŸ™‚

That’s when dreams began to change and thoughts began to reform. Cards were no more in fashion. I stopped it long before others did. πŸ˜€ (It was easier of course, no kidding!)
And instead of thinking of wishing everybody a great year ahead, I began looking back. Natural, since I had started writing poetry and seriously started taking it seriously.

Ever since, my view has been:
“Last year, Last day, is all but another fallen leaf…
To some it’s a sad goodbye, to some a relief…
To me, it’s another step closer to death….
Another breath closer to my last breath…”

That’s the truth of it. That’s the truth that’s made inconspicuous by drinks, noise and crackers on New Year’s Eve. That’s the truth people consider as rude and pessimistic if expressed. But the fact remains that that’s the truth. And I really believe it. Trust me, you don’t want me to shower flowery words of positivity all over and around you when New Year is such a sad affair. πŸ˜€
I would rather give you positive thoughts that deal with some other aspects of life. Like accepting the Truth and being open to more.

By the way, has anyone had trouble making a resolution 2012-just-for-the-heck-of-it yet? If yes, here’s a tip.

*Try to remember what your last year’s resolution was.
* If you still remember it, you are as good as you can be. So skip this year.
* If you didn’t make one last year, decide to make none ever. It doesn’t work anyway. Try dreaming instead.
* If you can’t remember what you had made last year, make it a point to write down this year’s so that you can have a resolution in 2013. (Now that’s what you call ‘a plan’.)

So, have a great day or night or whatever. I know I am going to fold up this box and wash up, pray and go to bed. And I am not too happy, or too sad. Just okay. Today was an okay day as far as the second day of a new year can be.

I am back to writing my novel after it took its Christmas vacation. I have missed you, dear Project! 😦  Anyway, I’m Amidst Sandcastles again… πŸ™‚ So goodnight moonlight. I guess I should’ve gone early to bed. Have been seeing the moon since a bit before 5 PM this evening.

But being me has its disadvantages… πŸ˜‰

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Resolutions-for-Never and Other Dumb Dreams with New Year Wishes!


Hello, everybody!

I have never made resolutions for the New Year, all these 23 years. Somehow, it seemed lame and funny, because knowing me, (certainly, like many of you) I am not someone who does everything I plan and resolve to do, every day or even on most of the days.
And it’s not like we can plan the next moment always, because we humans are so fragile and uncertain. We are so ephemeral and weak when we consider the single, simple fact that we don’t know when our last breath will be. But, this year, I thought, may be it won’t hurt to make some resolutions that can be done, and have to be done. Only that the list should include things that you are sure of and the validity of the list has to be ‘forever‘. πŸ˜€ May be then, things might work.

The nature of us human beings is such that it’s so perfectly imperfect. πŸ™‚ And the pursuit of perfection is such a wild goose chase, if you know what I mean. But only when we take that chance, only when we try to chase that wild goose, will we be even good at what we do, if not perfect. It doesn’t make sense when we think, ‘Whatever I do isn’t going to be perfect, so I am stopping trying.’
So, why don’t we take advantage of the human nature of unpredictability and uncertainty? Let me explain. πŸ™‚ I’m just saying, let’s surprise ourselves everyday. The only way to surprise ourselves is to be good, to do something good everyday.
We are as unpredictable as the first line of a poem. (I know, that’s a heavy comparison, but a good and expected one, coming from a poet.) We don’t know how we would react to a situation. We only think that we know it. We only know that’s what we are thinking. But come a moment when you’re facing a strife, or a moment of ecstasy, either we go dumb for a moment or we scream. Even as we do it, though we don’t at that moment, later it can surprise us. Come to think of it. So, surprise yourself with a deed that you hadn’t included in your mental resolution for the new year. It’s going to be fun.
πŸ™‚ And regarding the uncertainty – everything we do is often edged with uncertainty. Or sometimes, as far as another group of people are concerned, they have too much certainty, sureness in everything they do or say or choose.

Don’t you think a certain amount of uncertainty is actually even healthy? We do a lot of things, expect some outcome when we do all that or some kind of consequence. The point is, when we are all but full of certainty and expectations instead of anticipations and a thought of “what will be?”, we are bound to be disappointed at some point of time. So when you do something, do it with confidence but for every input you give, expect only one-third of the output. πŸ˜€ In more than one way, it’s the only way to reduce disappointment.

Frankly, I’m not telling you to be a pessimist on New Year’s Eve, though I know I do sound like one, but being a pessimist has its advantages. I couldn’t find a mistake in a quote I read a long time back. I don’t remember the exact quote, but I know what it said. It said, A pessimist has two reasons to be pleased – either he is right or he gets a pleasant surprise. πŸ˜€

A good enough reason to be one, I guess.
So, let’s begin this New Year with a Poem.

Shall we? …. Let me write it first.
…..
…. Okay, I’m back with a poem! πŸ™‚

Thousands of resolutions surround
Us tonight, as the year’s hours fade
Into a new dawn, a new year just around
The corner; moments and laughs jade
Into memories and are tucked silently
Into another year’s diaries and albums
To be pushed under carpets nonchalantly,
While some bury all those conundrums
With those memories, but only to make
More of them, and laugh again at it-
At the sheer joke of repetitions that take
Most of your time, and another bit…

On this New Year’s Eve, let’s pray
For those beautiful souls who made
Our lives meaningful and went away
Leaving us with memories that stayed…
And let’s wish all joy and goodness
To those who stood by us when we
Needed a hand, a shoulder and tenderness,
And gave us a hug and just let us be…
Tonight, let’s weave some dreams
Of a better world with love and peace,
Tonight, let’s bring hopes and beams
To lips that need a smile and release…

Tomorrow, let’s wake up to a new day,
To a new year of hills and vales
And roller coaster rides everyday
And voyages with high-set sails…
Tomorrow, let’s look with new eyes
At the pains that made our eyes tear,
And chide them aside and look at the skies
And wait for a joyous rain this year…
Tomorrow, let’s wrap our sweet memory
Of this year’s vesper and save it to open,
Share, laugh, and remember as we hurry
With our lives, with much forgotten…

Well, that poem was longer than expected. A pleasant surprise, because I haven’t written a poem for days. πŸ™‚

So you see what I mean!

Meanwhile, what do I have for a ‘resolution-just-in-case’ this year?

**************
*I’m planning to finish writing my novel by half of this year. (Gosh!)
*Reading more books – I haven’t read much this year.
*Finding a publisher for my second poetry book.
*Blogging more and sensibly.
*Staying in love with Poetry. (easiest, I know. Don’t frown at me.)
*Being a positive person, now that I know how to do it. πŸ˜‰
******
Speaking of positive attitude and optimism, what’s the greatest height of optimism?
Let’s see, I just came to think of it and I have already mentioned it above. Here’s it:
A pessimist has two reasons to be pleased – either he is right or he gets a pleasant surprise. πŸ˜€


So, Happy New Year, Everybody! πŸ™‚
Be good to yourself and to others and keep your hearts open! Life is not that bad if you know how to live it. πŸ™‚ You just have to grow that passion lying dormant within you.

With Loving Wishes and Prayers, Sana

Posted in Life, Nonsense, Personal, Poetry, Random, Thoughts & Quotes, What's New, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Absolutely Unplanned!


Hello, there! πŸ™‚

Well, I wasn’t planning on a blog-post today, but sometimes it’s like I don’t have a choice in that matter. I just end up doing what I wasn’t planning to do on most days. πŸ˜€

Speaking of the unplanned events, I looked up my file of quotes on poetry and what caught my eye today was something that’s related to “the unplanned”.

“If you know what you are going to write when you’re writing a poem, it’s going to be average.”Β  ~Derek Walcott

This was today’s attention-winning quote! πŸ™‚ And to start with, I couldn’t agree more on this. A fortnight ago, I got to talk with a local writer who had come to extract some details from me after reading my book. And he asked me, “Do you write poems based on a theme and planning it, or do you just write what comes to you at that moment?”

The question was easy, the answer easier. I’m best at writing unplanned lines. I don’t usually have a title to my poems when I start it. (Some poems do, and we’ll talk about that later.) Because I told my interrogator, “I often don’t know what I had just written even after finishing a poem. I read it all over again a few times to find the essence of the poem and find a suitable title.”

You have no idea how much Walcott’s quote makes me ecstatic. πŸ˜€ But let me say that I won’t let my poems be rated by a quote from a person I frankly don’t know. πŸ™‚ I leave it to you.

To me, a poem that comes unplanned and is written without knowing what it’s about would be extremely beautiful if it’s adorned by rhyming and words like dreams, hope and love. πŸ˜€ Well, see, I’m a very undemanding person. The poet just have to be very good and understandable. πŸ˜‰

Writing mountains of verses and oceans of thoughts will be complete only when the readers understand a work. Again, that comes down to simplicity of writing. Let’s keep our poetry simple, however unplanned and unknown the topic is to ourselves. So that it reaches out to everyone alike. It’s something we must do for the sake of poetry. Keeping its beauty and keeping it simple.

Now, this is a scattered blog-post, without consistency because I’m in a hurry (I always am, I guess, I’ll try to work it out soon!) and it’s breakfast time. And my thoughts are not yet organized for today. πŸ™‚

But there’s new year coming and I will bring out a list of long-termed resolutions, just in case I want something to follow. No comments for that now, you’re going to see how different that is, when I post it. πŸ˜€

But now I’m at a fork. In the previous post I had talked about how my poetry was viewed as conclusive and explanatory. In this post, I said, for sure, my poetry is unplanned. It is, for I know what I feel when I write a poem, or a few lines. Whether itΒ  is average or better or below average – you readers have to rate it. πŸ™‚ But, the question to solve today is:

“Can poetry be unplanned and conclusive at the same time?”

I really gotta think about it. Because how can a work conclude on something when the poet doesn’t know what it is about, yet?

See you all soon. Have a great New Year’s Eve! And make sure you do something good and yes – holy, for once – when the new year dawns. Well, not exactly when it dawns – we’ll be sleeping at that time since it’s a Sunday. πŸ™‚ But I am talking about the day. Do something that you can remember without regret and without thinking, “WTF, what was I thinking that day?” and of course, the “NO” list should include alcohol. πŸ™‚ There isn’t such an ephemeral enjoyment (of unconscious nature) with long-term bad effects. πŸ™‚

Bye for now, I will be back again soon, Insha Allah…

Love Always, Sana

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The Endless Possibilities of Poetry…


Good morning! πŸ™‚

Just last night, as I retired to bed, I was thinking about what to blog about today. And this title got locked in my mind. The Endless Possibilities of Poetry. I still have no idea what I was expecting myself to bring out early this morning.Β  πŸ™‚

However, I dug out some quotes on poetry and went through them. To get some idea. They were all good, I should say. As a poet, I can relate to those thoughts. But what surprised me was, I had a question in my mind on each quote. And even more surprising is that, though I would agree on all those quotes, I still had some difference in the base of my thoughts. Let’s examine a few of them, shall we? πŸ™‚ One will do for today.

“A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer…. He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it.Β  A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring.”Β  ~E.B. White

Well, E.B. White has a point there, when it comes to poems of all times – classic poetry and modern poetry, since poetry is more towards the abstract than the concrete. (Well, not exactly. Abstract on the surface, but concrete in the depth.). But maybe not mine. πŸ™‚

I have heard comments (criticism, in real English πŸ˜‰ ) that my poems are pretty conclusive. Like, I explain myself too much in the poems. Like I give the reasons alongside the ‘why’s and the ‘so what if’s alongside the ‘what if’s. πŸ™‚ And that my poetry has to be a bit more indirect, which I do try, but may be my thoughts are super-shallow, not even ankle-deep. But maybe, also, the other poets are not able to be so direct (huh???) πŸ˜€ or afraid to be direct? LOL. That’s far-fetched, but still, it’s worth a shot – that thought. Maybe you all should examine yourself about what you write (to poets) and what you read (to readers).

And readers, choose one – of course, the tastes vary – but just let me know the one you enjoy. The direct, simple, explanatory and satisfyingly concluded poems or the indirect, complex, thought-pregnant (well, I wouldn’t say the other one is thought-devoid, but still…) and suspended poems?

Decide it asking yourself:

*Are the simpler poems devoid of any significant food for thought? Does being conclusive stop you from forming your own thoughts? (Of course, they won’t do that to the extent of watching the Harry Potter movies instead of reading the book series which is too good!)

*Would you prefer a reason to read the next poem in a book (let’s assume you have a poetry book in your hand~ if not, get one!) or would you just read it because you love poetry? If you prefer a reason, would it have been because the poem you read was conclusive and gratifying OR suspended, abstract and made you want to find an answer? The possibility lies in it that, sometimes the answer to a question formed from one poem might be scattered in various poems in a collection. πŸ™‚ Still, think. Is that why you would continue reading, even if you don’t understand a poem completely? Do give it a thought, okay?

*So, by now, you might have decided which type of poetry you like. Say why. πŸ™‚

Mind you, this is supposed to be a bit interactive. If not, I am not going to be disappointed that this post hasn’t been thought-provoking, but rather that you people are not thinking. πŸ˜€ So it’s really up to you to make an impression.

E.B. White is right about the poets unzipping the veil of beauty but not removing the veil. I couldn’t agree more. But I couldn’t agree less about the utterly clear poets being a trifle glaring. πŸ˜€ Whatever he meant, that is. So either I am not utterly clear, or I am a trifle (little) glaring. Many of you have read my works, and what did you think? Let me know that, too. The recent works are at Smitten by Dreams : Poems of A Soul-Searcher.

Poetry as such is not written like, “Oh, the morning is so beautiful and the sun in shining in such grace…” but rather like:

“The sun rays slither down like gold spools,

Overnight dew drops glint in the meadow,

God’s matchless Love shines as Morning

Casts away the dark night’s shadow…”

πŸ™‚ That’s something instant. I wrote it now, here, to explain to you how a poet thinks. We’re ever so ready, guys! πŸ™‚ Anyway, put down your thoughts about this quote from E.B. White here. My thoughts are incomplete without yours. And besides, it’s breakfast time here. I gotta run for it. I promise to complete the E.B. White thoughts after gathering yours! πŸ™‚

So, leaving the rest of the quotes for the upcoming posts, bye for today. Have a great day!:)

With Love, Sana

P.S. The endless possibilities haven’t ended yet! SO, keep following!

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Starting Over On A Winter Morn…


Good morning everyone!

The sun is streaming in, creating distorted shadows of the window bars on the sand-coloured curtains in the living room.It’s late morning now and the mist just cleared away and the cold air has been warmed up. I can’t find a topic to start my first post here. But I guess, I’m not all set for talking about a particular topic this morning, fighting with a case of sinusitis and headache.

So here I’m, welcoming each and everyone of you to my new blog. I’m starting over. Every once in a while, we all have to start over with something in our lives. As this year comes to an end, I decided to start over with my blog. πŸ™‚ I thought, let’s get down to business now that I am really writing. Seriously writing than ever. πŸ™‚ So, I’m just keeping the other blog at Sana Rose Writes… for those who might want to see what I used to blab about. There wasn’t much over there, but it was something more personal than professional. Maybe because of all those roses in it. πŸ˜€

And I just wanted a change. So I shifted from Blogger to WordPress. And I think this is way easier to get loaded on the browser. I sure have a website and blog pages come with it, but I chose not to use it since it takes years to get the editor loaded. The page is still getting loaded on another tab. So, that would mean less blogging.

So, I have been making a lot of plans. πŸ™‚

Well, these are the plans for now. Weebly, my website toolsite is still loading. So pardon me, I will have to close it for now since I am in some hurry. And the new link will appear on the website only when Weebly is good. But of course, I shall interlink everything ASAP. The link to this new blog is on my old blog’s navtabs already. Check that out. πŸ™‚

So get yourself acquainted with the stuff around here and let me know if there is anything more you would like me to add. I myself am a bit awkward here and groping around and doing experiments.

So, just drop me a comment and tell me what you think of this new place. πŸ™‚

Have a great day everyone!

With Love, Sana

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